we are all donkeys now

The United Donkey Party of Australia has just suffered a crippling blow: an endorsement from Mark Latham. Having suffered the Latham kiss we all know what must follow: grim, certain, death. Then again that’s pretty much the same as any other day. I had planned to vote for the Donkey as I have on many previous occasions. However, the thought of hanging out with Latham seems almost worse than legitimizing any of the appalling outfits masquerading as political platforms that have disturbed our peaceful stupor for the last few weeks.

Unlike other observers I will not challenge the ethics of refusal. Just because Latham shows up at your party doesn’t mean it’s not cool, it means you should have hired bouncers. The notion that voting for someone, even in the absence of anything remotely resembling an ethical, worthwhile political activity is upholding a hard won, honourable, amazingly fully sic civil tradition that makes Australia so much better than all those stupid, developing third world outfits which are trying to grip it up and be like us, is completely false. (Not even close poseurs!) Rather such voting is the betrayal of the spirit and act of democracy and it gifts the political process to latter-day Jacobins. So Jacqueline Maley of “The Age”, yes: Mark Latham is an overgrown adolescent, but your grasp of democratic theory is marked by a childlike naïveté. Desperately maintaining that contemporary political parties somehow have strong links to their traditions good or bad is ill-advised. The Liberal party no more reflects the interests of the great white Australian bigot than the Labor party is fighting for the rights of an Australian working class, social justice and all that.

Homogeneity is the new black. Modern politics parallels modern life: all interests, tastes, moral and ethical frameworks must be catered for. This however, is difficult. Much better is simply to grant the appearance of choice. Appearances are what confront the modern consumer at every turn, yet most of what is on offer is actually the same crap with a diverse array of sweeteners, condiments, patterns, colours and meaningless options. In this setting choice is reduced to a momentary delusion that allows one to persist with the series of delusions that facilitate modern life. This is also why appealing to swing voters is now the main game of Australian politics. How can it be surprising that the great unwashed in the western suburbs, reared on diets of takeaway, tied to their cars, seemingly unaware or uninterested in any agenda beyond more material wealth, are bought off with empty contracts come election time? On the flip side perhaps these are actually the smartest of all. Perhaps they have simply cast off any pretentions, lofty ideals, and vain hopes of sophisticated politics. They simply recognise their inner donkey and nose out who has the best carrots.

the Colonial